they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
