I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
