my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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