I want to walk on stilts...naked
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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