I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
