So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
