Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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