Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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