He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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