All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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