I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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