new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
