I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
