A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
