He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize