I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
