it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
