we're blogging at a bar
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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