IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
