you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This house was built for laser tag.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
