yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
