I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
