I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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