took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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