Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.