community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...