Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.