You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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