god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
