yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
