i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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