jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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