I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
