he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
