Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
