BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
