wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
