It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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