Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
