We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
