Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
