She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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