We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
