the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
