Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
