you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize