Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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