it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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