The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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