dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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