i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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