my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
