Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
