my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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