it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
