she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Drake has all the answers
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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