every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
