So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Houston, we have a squirter
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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