dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
