I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
