I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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